Gordon and Janine discuss why the best AI in salon software is the kind you never notice—no dashboards, no chatbots, just software that works.
Sweeps into the booth at the Boronia RSL, Negroni catching the light just so
Janine's there. Two chardonnays deep, possibly three. Saturday's carnage still in her hair—literally, there's a clip she's missed.
"Gordon." She doesn't look up from her phone. "It's asking me to activate AI mode. I just wanted to book Sarah for Thursday and now there's a bloody chatbot."
Settles in, slight smile playing
A chatbot. How perfectly 2023 of them.
"It pops up going 'How may I assist you today!' With two exclamation marks, Gordon."
Takes a deliberate sip
Of course it does.
Leans forward
You know what's happened? The entire salon software industry discovered artificial intelligence exists and decided to tell everyone. Loudly. With dashboards.
"YES. I've got four dashboards I've never opened. Pie charts about client retention probability. What even IS AI?"
Considers the Negroni thoughtfully
The best service you've ever received—truly exceptional service—you barely noticed it happening. Water refilled before you reached for it. Check arrived at precisely the right moment.
That's AI done properly. It anticipates. Prevents problems. Makes everything flow. Without announcing itself like it deserves a medal.
"But mine has a dashboard. Calls itself my intelligent assistant. Has a name—"
Holds up hand
Please don't.
"CutBot."
Closes eyes briefly
Tell me something. Do you know who's due for their next appointment?
"What? Yeah, obviously. Emma's usually every six weeks, she's probably—" Janine stops. "Oh."
Nods slowly
You don't need analytics, darling. You need software that quietly mentions "Emma might be due" when you're looking at Thursday. Not a notification. Not a bloody dashboard. Just a gentle observation.
Warming up now, gestures becoming theatrical
Here's what happened. Expensive consultants told every software company that AI sells. And they were right. What nobody mentioned is that useful AI and marketable AI are entirely different creatures.
"My software sent an email saying 'Experience the future of salon management.'"
Deadpan
Did it arrive via telegram from 1955?
Janine snorts into her chardonnay.
They've added a chatbot that can't understand "book Sarah Thursday." Created a dashboard showing you what you already know. Got "smart scheduling" that still double-books your color specialist. Wrapped it in notifications going "AI ACTIVATED!" like they've launched a rocket.
"The chatbot asked me what service Emma wanted. She's been getting cut and color for three years."
Sets glass down with emphasis
And that, Janine, is the difference between AI that announces itself and intelligence that actually works.
Leans in
Real intelligence whispers. When you say "book Sarah Thursday for Emma's usual"—just like that, no ceremony—it understands. Emma Chen, cut and color, Sarah, Thursday afternoon, probably around 2pm because she always does.
"Mine makes me pick from a dropdown. Every Emma in the system. Then services. Then time—"
Raises hand
Please. I'm already exhausted.
Good AI doesn't make you think about AI. It just makes everything work. You don't activate modes. You don't consult dashboards.
It makes you look brilliant without taking credit.
Stands, adjusts cuffs
The entire salon software industry discovered AI. Wonderful. Now they need to discover discretion.
Exceptional software whispers, darling. Inferior software shouts while making you fill out dropdown menus.
Heads toward bar
The best AI is invisible. You'll never notice it's there. You'll just notice your Saturdays run smoother.
Which is rather the point, isn't it?
Keep it simple. Keep it Gordon.
To the bartender
Same again. Janine's having another day tomorrow.